When it rains...

"Miss Amanda it rained yesterday" Nicholas aimlessly talks as we go on out on our daily afternoon walk. "Your right Nicholas it did rain yesterday" I say with only half my brain after the chaos that was nap time. Excited nick exclaims "The sun warmed up all the wet things... It shineded on all that was rainded on!"

"Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make melody to our God on the lyre! He covers the heavens with clouds; he prepares rain for the earth;  he makes grass grow on the hills." Psalm 147:8

At that point I stop to let the boys investigate a leaf because all leaves are full of wonder, but apparently this was T  H  E  perfect leaf. I couldn't argue- all nature sends me on hunt for more of the beauty of the creator. He made the perfect leaf... & that one an that one... The one with the stripes and the one with the spots, he made them all!

It was then I thought about all that rain talk- we all have days where it feels like rain in our lives. We feel like the storms will push us over and it just won't dry.When we are drenched by circumstances and shivering in the cold. When the rain comes and it wets the ground in our souls we think just because it was wet somehow that means there isn't a way for the rain drenched streets of our hearts and minds to become dry again. We think in our        h o p e l e s s n e s s of the negative self talk, the kind the devil loves- because he doesn't have to do any work... we simply condemn ourselves and he just smirks his devilish smirk. The rain falls faster and with more velocity because if circumstances can bring us down, then he won't need to push us anyways. __Yet we are "more than conquerors" so we need not fall into this thought or disgrace for the power of the spirit can lift us from this negative thought___

Even as I type this in attempt to never forget simple thoughts of a child; Nicholas starts talking about how Jesus gives us hearts to chose his way or we sometimes choose poorly but he loves us still. That's the gospel straight from the mouth of babes: freedom to chose his way and his truth but also love in the bad choices still. Grace that covers it all! Of course in his 5-year old mind he compares bad choices to "bad guys" but the concept was there- and what a concept to grasp!!

The SON (of God) surely warms the cold and wet parts in our hearts- hurts caused by people, by heartache, by simply the brokenness of the world. The son, the one and only son. He warms us with his light. His warmth reminds us of his favor as his faithfulness. The rainbow in our hearts keep account of his shining. That beautiful rainbow reminds us of his promise. Our rainbows can take many different shapes,forms, and of course many different colors.  Maybe the rainbows of our soul come from a place of forgiving where it isn't easy or fair. Other times rainbows are colored by accepting or giving grace to others. Furthermore our rainbows carry us back to place of remembering. Even if it rains so hard that we think we may never get dry again; the son shines in perfectly into our deepest, wettest and most torrential downpours. He clears it up- he always does. Rest in him as the rain falls in our lives and trust in him when he provides his comfort in warmth. Because "the SON gives us warmth- he dries up all the wet parts"

This week I had many moments when I thought "It's raining, but I chose to believe the SON gives me warmth." I shall not despair or sit under condemnation but rather gather up the soggy socks and walk forward in confidence that the dry weather will come. It isn't the dry weather we wait for though, we sit in the rain drenched with a heart of joy. We can choose to dance in the rain and embrace the muckieness that is life some days.

Dance and let the SON warm you even when... you get a huge bill from the hospital for more than you have in your saving. Because when the Son warms you he provides with not only provision for the whole bill and debt eliminated but also a 20% discount to the paying party. Freely dance when you have your record wiped clean because when I look at a debt being paid I see the Gospel. I see our sin and utter helplessness in death and remember a savior sent to save us from the pit of death.

 "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:2

Dance and let the SON warm you even when... you are stuck in traffic on the interstate. Because maybe that traffic somehow had God's sovereign hand wrapped up in it.. because he knew your car would stall. He knew going 70mph and a car stopping would be death but he chose life so therefore he chose traffic. Slowing my vehicle down enough to realize, ughhh whaaaa....what is happening?! Choosing joy even after the tears flow because you realize that without his hand in steering you off the highway you would be dead. We would all be dead though, without his rainbows; without his remembrance of what his son did... he warms us even in the chaos of tow trucks, mechanics and even lack of faith in the moment of distress. H e   r e s t o r e s , he renews... and you drive away the next day praising all the more loudly. 

"The lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down." Psalm 145:14

Dance and let the SON warm you even when....you are tempted beyond your self control. Sit in the reality that dancing with a sin is like dancing with fire- we will get burned. When the son warms you and reminds you of his grace, then CHRIST grabs hold of your hand and dances you into remembrance of his light being shed on all things and why convictions of the spirit are a thing to be pressed in on to hear clearly rather than put on mute so your sin can run rampant. RUN, run fast the other way so you can dance freely in the arms of one who knows even the deepest darkest things and yet love you still deeper, stronger, wider.

Dance and let the SON warm you even when... you face broken relationships, failures, tragedy, triumph, sadness, sorrow, depression, anguish, faithlessness, hopelessness, broken hearts, bitterness, fears, trauma, health issues, Cancer, poor results, bad feedback, innumerable obstacles, disadvantage, financial struggles and the list goes on. At the end of the day we can chose to remember the rainbows despite the rain, and better yet dance in the storm. We can walk in confidence because we know God has us in his sovereign hands and choose to trust him even when our hands shake when we praise or pray. 


"As servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: By great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger, by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy spirit, genuine love by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; for honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet known; as dying, and behold we live; as punished and yet not killed; as sorrowful yet always rejoicing; as poor yet making many rich; as having nothing, YET POSSESSING EVERYTHING."                                  
2 C o r i n t h i a n s 6:4-10

Mountains and Valleys - Humbling Dependence

^{I wish I could dress up this blog post for you, make it both beautiful and inspiring but the truth is more than anything lately I have been humbled. I am in the middle of John Piper's book -Desiring God and a quote that called me to prayer this week was this "Prayer humbles us as needy and exalts God as wealthy." This is exactly why I am sharing these tough stories with you today, we are all in need of humility to boast even more loudly about our Gods wealth!  Being broken is humbling, needing two twelve year old boys to climb down a mountain and a good cry session to walk back up it is equally humbling. A friend recently told me that brokenness creates cracks in our lives  that are actually areas where we can let the Light of Jesus shine out of if we let him. Here is my attempt to let him shine though my rather gaping crack.}

^{Before I begin I need to share a few stories in light of context... Bear with me.}

^{When I was a sophomore in college I went though a very traumatic event which lead me to many anxieties thereafter. During this time I was accustom to many panic attacks. One night, nearly 4 months after the incident I went with friends to go play capture the flag. I was excited and running around with everyone when suddenly I was in full blown panic mode. What was most confusing and enraging about this specific attack is there wasn't even a feeling of fear that had taken over my thoughts- rather I had just gotten into the rhythm of breathing that my brain associated with a panic attack-- so I had one. I was beyond confused myself as my friends ran around trying to find me water and as another friend calmed me down. It was humbling to realize that even just the rhythm of breath could send me into full on attack mode so I since avoided running and many strenuous activities. Thankfully the Lord was gracious to me and this was simply a season in my life where the Lord defined what dependence on him looked like. He was teaching me that panic was no way to control any situation and rather clinging to him and his promises was the only way to cope.}

^{"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Isaiah 41:13}

^{Less than 2 months after this event I was laying in an ambulance on my way to the hospital. I had been sick for a week at this point but even I was shocked when I realized how sick I really was. During my time at the hospital there was never a diagnosis, just a lot of tests and pain meds. On one particular night I was in so much pain that I cried out to the Lord. I told him that if he wanted me he could have me, that I would rather be with him anyway. Being with him would far outweigh this life and I would happily meet him that day if he desired.}Suddenly his still small voice spoke to me as clear as I have ever heard the Lord before. He said " I have plans for you, Amanda."  That was enough for me, if he had a purpose to keep me here I would endure today and this season for I know the Lord is faithful. He was, he always will be.

Three weeks later I was mostly recovered and was finally back at school learning what my limits where- learning how to say no, what I could and couldn't do on account of my health. To be honest I am still figuring that out. In the grand view of things its not about what I could or couldn't do but rather what the Lord was teaching me; to depend on him and I would not have to worry. Jesus teaches us this over and over again in our lives yet he is still willing to teach it again. We can depend on him- he knows our limits- he knows our hearts- we can depend on him always. And I know this because "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:19

Fast forward to 2014, last week the group I live with went on an adventure to one of the most beautiful beaches in Haiti. I was a little anxious the night before because I heard how there was a 45 minute hike down to the beach and a hour or so hike back up to our car I was a little unsure I would make the trek but I could not miss this opportunity. Before we made our assent I prayed that the Lord would provide help and give me safety in his arms, no matter what happens. As we were beginning to make our assent we saw the most magnificent view and I took out my camera to capture it. There were two boys watching our group as we passed and were paying particular attention to my camera. Often children here haven't ever seen a photo of themselves so I asked if they would like me to take their photo. They both said yes in a very excited manner. I quickly snapped their photo, showed it to them and was on my way. Very soon after the road became a  foot path and was increasingly steep so much so that I was calculating each step.  

^{Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure Proverbs 4:26}

^{It seamed my friends were already well on their way so I was trying to catch up to them when I suddenly fell. I twisted my knee and scraped it on the rocks. I let out a startled scream and my team yelled to see if I was okay. I wasn't  actually sure but said Yes and to go on without me. Little had I known the boys I took a photo of where right behind me. They helped me up and brushed me off. They pointed to my bleeding knee and said "blese" which is the verb to cut in Creole. I thought about how cool that actually sounds that something as not fun as a cut can sound like a blessing, and it was. That cut was a blessed opportunity to be increasingly humbled.}

^{I was shaken up a bit and since the path was still very steep for me the two boys helped me down. They held my hand and made sure I had sure footing. At one point I realized I was still shaking but I was so thankful to have these sweet boys be my guides. Just as we were about to reach the beach I remembered a book I had read aloud in the car on the way to Colorado with two of my best friends. The book is called hinds feet on high places. I was reminded of this book because in it the main character- much afraid (whom now in retrospect was certainly acting like) was lead on the steep and torturous path to the sheppard which was God character. She had two guides and their names were Sorrow and Suffering. I chuckled as I remembered this and thank the Lord for my version of sorrow and suffering to cling to on this ascent down the mountain.  God was faithful in getting me to his most beautiful creation and I was certainly thankful, certainly humbled, yes mostly humbled.}

^{We had a good day at the beach, I played with local beach children, searched for quite a loot of sea glass, and got to lay in the sun admiring all the Lord created. It was rather glorious and nearly surreal and then I remembered sorrow and suffering and the hike up the mountain I soon faced. I began getting anxious because I wouldn't have my guides this time- I was probably still going to be far behind the group and I doubted I could actually make it up the mountain. We started the climb and at first I was doing fine- I had to fight to keep up with everyone but I was building my pride no matter how much it hurt. Then I reached a point where I simply could not keep up the pace with everyone anymore. Still despite my better judgment and knowledge of my limits, I was pushing harder than ever before just to keep up. What pride. UGH. Pride is so ugly, and even uglier when you were literally just humbled on the path down. How quickly pride forgets humility, or maybe that's what fuels it? Every time we are humbled we are given a choice to accept the humility or let it fuel our pride to never be humbled again. Then it all went downhill. I couldn't keep up, and I was mad- there were so many things I wanted. I wanted to be able to enjoy this hike like everyone else and not struggle. I wanted to breathe normally and not think I was going to throw up every two seconds.  I wanted so badly my health to not hinder me anymore but mostly I wanted to be in control. I was breathing rather rapidly then suddenly I was in panic state then like a stinkin baby I burst into tears.} 

^{THE LORD BROKE ME.} 

^{I am not in control and I never will be. If its on my own accord I can do nothing. I must rely on him for my health and everything else. It was silly, but I knew the Lord wanted me to see more. He wanted me to see sorrow and suffering firsthand. He wanted me to again learn the lesson to depend on him and he has all things working together for my good and his glory. I am thankful for the Lords favor in that moment. Dan had stayed back with me as we climbed and witnessed me burst into tears. As the father he is, he was tender and loving. He didn't rush me or make fun of my emotions, although he did crack a joke about needing to keep all the water I had inside my body and I actually did chuckle at that one. The Lord spoke though Dan as he comforted and coached me up that mountain. Reminding me that it wasn't a sprint, it was a marathon. So is life.} 

^{Dependence is not simply a lesson we learn once and move on, I feel it's a lesson we learn and re-learn though seasons of life. Because it takes a lot to break though our pride and desire for control, still God is faithful even if he presents sorrow and suffering as companions. Through anxiety and panic attacks I learned to be dependent on the lord. Though illness and a life that is lead with the prospect of being right back in the same hospital room builds dependence on the Lords favor- especially living in a third world country. It's important to remember for my own sanity that nothing that has happened to me in my life is outside the scope of God. He knows what I experienced that brought on such trauma, he knows how my head spun as I sat in a hospital waiting for answers that never came. He also knows my heart when I climb a mountain and cares deeply that I learn to depend on him. Never once was any of that outside of his control because he is sovereign. If nothing else he is showing me that dependence is an action. He is showing me that despite what the world says to become independent my only real saving grace is dependence on the one who lavishes unmerited grace. How blessed are we. Even when sorrow and suffering are our guide that we have a peace that surpasses all understanding because we have the peacekeeper as a guide.}

^{"My spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name." Luke 1:47-49}

Childlike

 

 

A Child's heart is to be captured, embraced, loved.

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

As a 23 year old I often feel the imbalance between childhood and the brink of adulthood. It's a struggle to remain in the framework of child-like faith yet facing the sobering realities of life. I can hardly imagine how some children I encounter in Haiti face this hard truth everyday- that their childhood reality is ripped away. Children as young as 5 doing all the household chores... cooking, cleaning just to "earn their way." In Bondage, taken hostage their childlike tendencies and demanding a new framework out of necessity. They grow up in an instant, lacking time to giggle, run, dance, and the freedom to be a child.

I look into longing eyes every day. I see hunger and pain. I watch children carry other younger children up a mountain to receive their only meal in God-knows how long. I witness countless children longing for affection running up to me for a simple hug. Many fight over being held and played with because they so desperately desire attention. Much of the behavior issues I deal with result from a child acting out because that's the only way they know how to seek attention. They are so thirsty, not only for water but for their hearts to be filled the way a child's should be.  

"Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink, whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them." John 7:37-38

So many adults don't want to see this. They don't want to see those who hurt because it brings up hurts of their own. As an adult there must be something those eyes have to do, they must see responsibility and weight with every glance in a third world- or in a first world for that matter. Yet I think the weight is a Godly weight. If we shielded our eyes from those who hurt, we wouldn't see as a child does.

I was sitting talking to Blondine, a sweet teenage neighbor who I spent a good deal of time with last summer. She was telling me how she sees the injustice of her country and God's goodness in the same breath. How can that be? An adult mind would have to rationalize two conflicting realities, yet she observes plainly: the broken world in which the Kingdom has yet come, and the Goodness of God in the fact that the Kingdom of God has already come.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega--the beginning and the end," says the Lord God. "I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come--the Almighty One." Rev. 1:8

Sure, it's easier to be blinded. It's easier to seek comfort. It's easier to plan your own life, than to let go and offer up your life plans to the maker of life. The boldness it takes to abandon your own plans in place of something radically different takes childlike faith. I often feel as if the world constantly struggles to place the blindfold back on my eyes, taking bits of the childlike out of my perspective. Sometimes with comfort in reach, even simple things like ice and electricity I feel I am slowly becoming blind. It's as if all the discomfort was actually allowing me to see after all- to shed that layer that blinds and restrains. Are we really giving up the awe and wonder of child-like eyes for ease and comfort? It's a shame when we can't see though the fog of our own pacifying flesh continuing to whisper... you don't want to see... seeing is a challenge, better just sit in the dark. 

Slowly, however I do see.
The Lord gives me glimpses.
Just a half second glance into the eyes of Christ and we would all be hooked.
I see in a way I believe Christ sees.
That's my prayer each and every day... to see with his eyes.
I'm pretty sure Christ has childlike eyes.
He sees wonder in a glance, and awe is a normal skeptical at his creation.
He doesn't see the lack before him, rather the fullness of child likeness.

Look with childlike eyes, see Christ who will be exalted among the nations.
Look with childlike eyes, see a generation willing to say yes to difficulty for the kingdom.
Look with childlike eyes, see peace to capture universal hearts, starting with you.
Look with childlike eyes, see freedom in Christ as a blessing beyond all measures.

Take back the rationality
Take back the pride
Take back the criticism

Replace with Faith
Replace with rejoicing
Replace with thanksgiving

 

and...

 

"come in the fullness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ." (Romans15:29)

to the very throne of Grace.

 

 

Power Struggle?

I tossed and turned. Exhausted from a full day of living and working in Haiti. Well aware that I could not sleep, for there was something in the room that persisted. My prayers were earnest, I demanded the enemy to leave in the name of my savior, Jesus Christ. The enemy persisted. This world is under the "prince of the power of the air" and there was certainly something in the air that demanded my attention. The verse below tossed about in my head.

"We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.
And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Little children, keep yourselves from idols." -1John 5:19-21

At around 2:35 AM I sat straight up and was so aware of an unwanted presence that I prayed... Prayed... and prayed. I was almost fooled into believing maybe "I wasn't praying hard enough, or with enough faith?" or maybe it was this half awake half sleep haze that I was caught in, but I certainly felt caught. 

Exhaustion overwhelmed as I layed back down. Not even 20 minutes later I sat up again, only this time I dramatically looked down at my wrist where I felt a pressure. As I looked down I saw that my bracelet (which was very dear to me, given to me by a sweet friend) that happened to be metal in the shape of a cross had literally broken in half... just like that. The enemy sure did hate to see that symbol of remembrance. Now, I wasted no time rationalizing this in pretending that what just happened didn't, I took the bracelet threw it across the room as a "that's enough" type of move. I was serious.

I knew then, I wouldn't sleep that night.

I got my computer out that really needed to be charged and listened to a podcast I had loaded earlier. The sermon that God divinely lead me to talked about how salvation was bigger than we could ever know about and how in Christ we have been "delivered from the dominion of darkness." (Col. 1:13)

I had a lot of questions that night that challenged me such as: 

• If we have been delivered from darkness how can I be attacked?
• I knew I could not be harmed, but I wrestled with God who was allowing this experience to occur. 
• How could I be both delivered and in the mist of darkness as I felt that night?

The devil is the ruler of this world. He holds power. A dark power.
Don't believe me? Look for yourself: John 12:31, John 14:30, John 16:11

I wondered how many times this reality has actually crossed my mind before. I know my God has power; incredible, jaw dropping, blind seeing, cripple walking, deaf herding, Christ rising type of power... but had I actually thought about satan as one who holds power in this world?  That power being far from equal,  but power none the less.

I was being sifted as peter was, like wheat. 

This was how I rationalized my experience. The Lord wanted me to not only be sifted but to experience    the darkness that is real and active in this community. I recalled what I had done the night all of this happened. I was upstairs at Megan's house, after I said goodnight to everyone right before I left I paused to say a prayer over their house of the Lord's protection. That night I learned that sometimes, God does not extend his protection because he gives permission.  

I was reminded that the Devil has to ask permission from our sovereign God before any experience that night or any other could ever occur. Because although the devil has power here....He Has a HIGHER power he must report to. Maybe all of this sifting was to violently separate lies from truth in this community and reveal beautiful revelation that God's glory ALWAYS stands. I'm okay with that. Let the wheat be sifted, because when it is finished there lies manna. Daily bread.

Above lies, his truth shines.

Beyond culture, he sovereignly placed you admits that culture. That's for his Glory too.

Within our brokenness, he brings beauty from the ashes.

We just have to allow him to work in all things (and I mean ALL) in order to see clearly the Lords purposes.

As I faced the enemy as I did that night I saw the darkness that encompasses this country. Not just Haiti, but the entire world. The manifestation may look different, but the one with the power in this world is the same, he uses all the same deceitful tactics all around the world and we maybe have grown so accustom to blaming such things on "culture" rather than calling the enemy out on his ploy.

That excuse of culture happens over and over here. Lies are so widely believed here as truth because of the deception the devil has placed on this land. Even believers here have a hard time deciphering truth from (Haitian) proverb, and proverb from scripture. 

Then I  ran across Psalm92:6-8  and I was refreshed.

"The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish, they will be forever destroyed. But you , O Lord are exalted forever." 

We may live in a world where the power is in the hands of evil, but we know who will be exalted on the final days. I know who will forever reign as my Lord, my King!

Evil may be all around us in this world. But God is still Good, and he ALWAYS will be.

Send Your Light and Truth

We were sitting in the dark, defending the blood of Christ...explaining the beauty of Grace.

The conversation bolted from sanctification to justification and back and forth again... agreements were made, yet the truth that was poured out covered only the visible portion of the iceberg of confusion and lies covered up in a disguised version of truth.

Something bubbled up in me that I wasn't familiar with. I felt a rage, this unexplainable feeling not because of the pointed discussion that had now become a group effort to explain but because I felt the oppression. Deep, sticky, thick oppression. Beliefs that are so engrained in culture here that even if  individuals believe to have found the way and the truth the devil has TWISTED it, formed in a way that light is not penetrating. Lost dark "truth's." My heart broke because the Lord revealed to me that moment this is what so many battle, that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12)  Living in darkness unable to see a glimmer of light. The devil stealing at every chance, and oppressing to hide the truth. "The devil knows the truth and means to lie." (Beth Moore, Mercy Triumphs)

Earlier that week I had meditated on Psalm 43 and was enamored by verse 3 

"Send out your light and truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill, and to your dwelling."

I was again reminded of a verse I constantly run back to in Haiti when all we can see around us is darkness, twisted truth, unforgiving confusion of the devil, and walls that feel too big to climb over. Then we remember our God is bigger, and he has already won the battle. Let him be glorified! 

"In the world you will have tribulation,
but take heart; I have overcome the world."

I cling to this promise! 

In the true nature of Our Lord, the Teacher I had just walked though a lesson in our James study that spelled out that our tongue can be lit by either source, one of the Holy spirit in Light and Truth or by hell in darkness and confusion. We have a choice which fire lights our tongues. (Acts 2:1-4, James 3:6) I wrestled with the idea that many of the people in this country don't know they have a choice, they are simply blinded. The devil has such a captive audience here for so many reasons and it almost feels like he has prevailed.

 Then last night as I wrestled again in thought of this I looked up a sermon on my iPhone by Pastor John piper written in 1985 titled "Let us walk in the Light of God." That really captivated my thinking about how darkness is blinding, here is the analogy he used:

"Picture a man in a dark room. He feels warm, soft fur with one hand and a cold sharp edge with the other and draws in close to the warmth and softness of the fur. But, when the light comes on, he sees that the warm, soft fur is the under belly of a horrid, man-eating monster; and the hard, cold edge is the sword of the Majestic Christ ready to save. The reason he was controlled by his desire for the man-eating monster is that he was in the dark."

Then God shows me this word: 

"Now is the judgement of this world; now will the ruler of this world be cast out. And when I am lifted up from earth, will draw all people to myself.....The light is among you for a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you. The one who walks in the darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light believe in the light, that you may become sons of light" (John 12:31-32, 35-36)

I was reminded that although the dark may seam to overtake this Island I have faith to believe in the Light of my Savior, that he has a beautiful plan of redemption that I am not able to see yet (and he is empowering me to see how I am a part of that plan, everyday I am here) regardless the darkness that tries to prevail. After all we are sons of light created in the image of "the Father of Lights." ( James 1:17)

I am reminded of a favorite Hillsong worship song;
You said, "Ask and I'll give the nations to you"
Oh, Lord, that's the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see Your light, as it rises on us 

In order to not be stringing these pearls together and trowing them away to pigs, I ask you join me in prayer for this Island. That the Island would sing of HIS light, and that darkness would flee.

After our discussion I ran to the Lord in my despair, this is the following prayer I wrote in my journal. Please be in prayer with me for the chains of oppression, confusion, and darkness to fall and for the Light of the HOLY one to shine in this country.

....My prayer  

Oh Father,

Hear my cry for all those on this island who think they know your truth, yet can't comprehend your Grace that your sons blood provided for us. Let your light come and reside among us and make Truth become evident, remove the scales from their eyes and the veil from their faces. My prayer for those hearts who are lead astray by empty words and displays of religion that are so far from your Truth that you may reveal to their hearts the foolishness of the world and seek you. As you run after us as the one sheep who is lost, Father I pray for your very pursuit of their soul to captivate them with your Light and radiate Truth into their lives. Father, we believe you hold all things in your hands and as darkness is concerned let it be cast out. Let your name be lifted high and make a home in the hearts of men, women and children across the nation of Haiti. Bring boldness to those in this country battling the darkness with your Light, let us be unified and unafraid to share of your Light, Truth and Love.

Amen