Power Struggle?

I tossed and turned. Exhausted from a full day of living and working in Haiti. Well aware that I could not sleep, for there was something in the room that persisted. My prayers were earnest, I demanded the enemy to leave in the name of my savior, Jesus Christ. The enemy persisted. This world is under the "prince of the power of the air" and there was certainly something in the air that demanded my attention. The verse below tossed about in my head.

"We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.
And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Little children, keep yourselves from idols." -1John 5:19-21

At around 2:35 AM I sat straight up and was so aware of an unwanted presence that I prayed... Prayed... and prayed. I was almost fooled into believing maybe "I wasn't praying hard enough, or with enough faith?" or maybe it was this half awake half sleep haze that I was caught in, but I certainly felt caught. 

Exhaustion overwhelmed as I layed back down. Not even 20 minutes later I sat up again, only this time I dramatically looked down at my wrist where I felt a pressure. As I looked down I saw that my bracelet (which was very dear to me, given to me by a sweet friend) that happened to be metal in the shape of a cross had literally broken in half... just like that. The enemy sure did hate to see that symbol of remembrance. Now, I wasted no time rationalizing this in pretending that what just happened didn't, I took the bracelet threw it across the room as a "that's enough" type of move. I was serious.

I knew then, I wouldn't sleep that night.

I got my computer out that really needed to be charged and listened to a podcast I had loaded earlier. The sermon that God divinely lead me to talked about how salvation was bigger than we could ever know about and how in Christ we have been "delivered from the dominion of darkness." (Col. 1:13)

I had a lot of questions that night that challenged me such as: 

• If we have been delivered from darkness how can I be attacked?
• I knew I could not be harmed, but I wrestled with God who was allowing this experience to occur. 
• How could I be both delivered and in the mist of darkness as I felt that night?

The devil is the ruler of this world. He holds power. A dark power.
Don't believe me? Look for yourself: John 12:31, John 14:30, John 16:11

I wondered how many times this reality has actually crossed my mind before. I know my God has power; incredible, jaw dropping, blind seeing, cripple walking, deaf herding, Christ rising type of power... but had I actually thought about satan as one who holds power in this world?  That power being far from equal,  but power none the less.

I was being sifted as peter was, like wheat. 

This was how I rationalized my experience. The Lord wanted me to not only be sifted but to experience    the darkness that is real and active in this community. I recalled what I had done the night all of this happened. I was upstairs at Megan's house, after I said goodnight to everyone right before I left I paused to say a prayer over their house of the Lord's protection. That night I learned that sometimes, God does not extend his protection because he gives permission.  

I was reminded that the Devil has to ask permission from our sovereign God before any experience that night or any other could ever occur. Because although the devil has power here....He Has a HIGHER power he must report to. Maybe all of this sifting was to violently separate lies from truth in this community and reveal beautiful revelation that God's glory ALWAYS stands. I'm okay with that. Let the wheat be sifted, because when it is finished there lies manna. Daily bread.

Above lies, his truth shines.

Beyond culture, he sovereignly placed you admits that culture. That's for his Glory too.

Within our brokenness, he brings beauty from the ashes.

We just have to allow him to work in all things (and I mean ALL) in order to see clearly the Lords purposes.

As I faced the enemy as I did that night I saw the darkness that encompasses this country. Not just Haiti, but the entire world. The manifestation may look different, but the one with the power in this world is the same, he uses all the same deceitful tactics all around the world and we maybe have grown so accustom to blaming such things on "culture" rather than calling the enemy out on his ploy.

That excuse of culture happens over and over here. Lies are so widely believed here as truth because of the deception the devil has placed on this land. Even believers here have a hard time deciphering truth from (Haitian) proverb, and proverb from scripture. 

Then I  ran across Psalm92:6-8  and I was refreshed.

"The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand the wicked spring up like grass and all evildoers flourish, they will be forever destroyed. But you , O Lord are exalted forever." 

We may live in a world where the power is in the hands of evil, but we know who will be exalted on the final days. I know who will forever reign as my Lord, my King!

Evil may be all around us in this world. But God is still Good, and he ALWAYS will be.

Atrux is finally in Haiti !

I cannot express how much peace and contentment I felt going up the mountain the first night back at home. I was in Haiti. Finally, after praying...seeking...waiting...waiting...waiting and mostly trusting; I was home.

Three hundred and sixty four days after I wept getting on a plane to leave this country I was now weeping that God’s provision and plan was so good, perfect and excellent beyond what I could have imagined for myself.

“The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” -Lamentations 3:25

He was so good to my soul because right as I took my first steps on the mountain my heart was even more filled when *john* began running at me from ridiculously far away. He never slowed down, only continued running faster and faster yelling my name over and over. I ran toward him and hugged him telling him I never wanted to let go and I missed him! His precious smile welcomed me back home on that mountain and I couldn't have dreamed it any better.

Our God is a God of homecomings. He is running at us full speed ahead yelling your name awaiting a greeting of love. He dances at the sight of obedience and delights in our joy for following his commands.

However something I wasn’t prepared for when I arrived back in Haiti was things I had forgotten. I was constantly focused on the things I remembered most about Haiti because I was looking forward to those things, yet so much I had forgotten.

Our God never forgets, even when we do.

I had so easily forgotten what happened a year ago, people I met, names that somehow have slipped though my less than perfect memory and a language I could once understand. I reminded myself to have grace over my initial days in Haiti and continue to pray for memory and resolve. Thankfully the Lord filled my heart with contentment to finally be here and that’s what matters most because my memory may fail but my God never will. However, please continue to pray for my memory!

On Saturday Rita, Sharon and I went to the market and upon our return I ran into two beautiful women I had taught in English class last summer. They lit up when they saw me, YELLING my name. Initially I was upset I could not place their names in my mind yet then I remembered the Lord allowed me to remember their sweet faces and that was enough for me. There is grace.

Yesterday I was reading Ann Voskamp’s blog and this quote stood out to me:

“Peace is a Person. No one can steal Peace from you. And nothing can steal you from Him”

That truth became real when I realized that it wasn’t just finally being in Haiti that has given me peace, it wasn’t seeing familiar faces and being embraced by children I truly loved in every way I knew how. It was Christ. Peace is certainly a person and that person was a Son to be killed for my sin. That person suffered in flesh yet rose to new life. That person fills my every breath and peace is within it. I’m okay forgetting a few things; I’ m also okay adjusting to a drastically new world in peace only because I know the peacemaker himself.  He is the prince of peace.

How good is our God that we may know peace because we know him.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16.33

-ATrux (FINALLY) in Haiti