Allegory: Waterfalls

Close your eyes with me. Imagine yourself in a quaint little cabin on a large piece of land. You are distracted by something that at the moment seamed like the world- but as you look back now you cannot remember what it was you were doing and mostly why it was so important. You are sitting and it is still outside. The children have been fighting with their heavy eyelids fighting to stay open but alas, they fall into slumber. You are anxious but you don't know about what. It's a matter that will affect many people around you, many you care about and you feel a pressure to do something but you simply don't know what that something is, or even simply the next step to get to that something. Fear covers you like a blanket and you shutter. About the time you feel a loss of hope for the future, you hear it. The faint rush of something outside. It's small and still but it is there you are sure of it. You stand up and look out the window and that action alone sends anxiety coursing though your veins. You look back at your sleeping family and take a deep breath. The kind where you half breath half hold your breath. Suddenly you hear the sound again this time stronger and something inside says "find it, seek it out. watch and see what will happen."  You try to shake off the feeling but it overwhelms you so you give in. You step outside the cabin and start walking in the direction of the melodious beautiful sound that you can't quite make out now but you are sure it's attainable.

You walk toward the pitter patter that is out of reach you walk faster as you hear the rushing surges of water at each step you look forward with familiar anticipation of the ultimate refreshment even though you have never been to this part of the woods. You can't describe it but somehow the things you were anxious over melt away, your wandering heart become set on this one goal: reaching that beautiful sound and finding complete refreshment forever. You don't necessarily know what that looks like but somewhere along the way in your path to search out this sound you run into a man. 

He is kind, he says he can help you find your way as you seam to be in a hurry and the fall of dawn was upon you. You are fearful at first because you remember what has been said about strangers- especially strangers in the wilderness. However something in your spirit  is calmed in his presence and you are thankful he could lead you as you soon become weary from your venture. He calmly reminds you that just up ahead the wellspring is there. Its rushing water- that is the sound you have been hearing and you are even more determined to get there now that you know you could drink there... you will not waver nor turn back. You desire rest for your feet for you feel you have been walking for days, months, years maybe. You look up to the man beside you and he looks strong, able to easily carry you. When there is no more steps that you can physically take you ask the gentle man to take you into his arms to complete the journey and reach the water at last. He without hesitations mounts you upon his back and says some words that seam familiar but you can't place them He says confidently " Those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."  You repeat them back to yourself as if they were once an old children's story you were fond of as you are being carried and are so relaxed you nearly fall asleep. 

Then you see it- up ahead there is a large mountain, bigger than you have ever seen. There falling off the precipice is the gushing gurgling most beautiful sight and sound of a magnificent waterfall. It seams too good to be true. You are nearly blinded by the light that is reflecting off each pass of water surge brought into a deep pool where  you rush to submerge your body. The refreshing cool covers your body and you take a large drink and it seams to quench every thirst you have ever had. You oddly remember this feeling as if it were a dream, one you may have had many, many years ago when a child.

You swim over to sit under the waterfall and you feel it suddenly envelop you-- Amazing Grace. This is the sound. This is it. All I've ever needed right here in the submission of the water to the pull of gravity carrying the splashes of water across the edges as if it's dancing just for you. And there He is, the man who guided us here holding those things in his hands. You don't quite know what to do as you watch his hands motion like a beautiful conductor- he gestures to the waves and whispers to the splashes. The bubbling of the wellspring below you warms your body in the most relaxing way. The gravity pulling each stream of water down, down, down into the pool screams of obedience they have to this man.  You suddenly burst into song, but you realize this song isn't to the cliff in which the water rushes down nor for the water that dances or the chorus it makes as it splashes all around you- it's for the maker alone.

You shout as loudly as you can " HE IS GOD, HE IS GOOD. STAND HERE- UNDER THIS WATERFALL-SEE GRACE LIKE NEVER BEFORE" as your breath breaks you mix your own tears in with the water and realize that all along that sound, the callings, the journey, even the neediness of being carried here was all for his praise. It's in his grace alone that you turned to follow the sound of Grace calling you no matter how faint the sound was and ran for the waterfall. Then when you where weary and could not go on the dark night of the soul enveloping you in ways you would rather not speak of as to bring you down, that was worth it too. The challenge in the journey and the fatigue is mixed with the emotion as Joy overflows. If we only were to look at the turmoil that is caused by the journey to finding the waters edge we would miss the grace in which it envelops. We would miss it altogether and the whole journey would be in vain. Only grace, by that man only Jesus Christ could possibly lead us to the abundant outpouring of his love, mercy, kindness, and favor. He desires for us all to run for this waterfall of his outpouring of perfect grace.

It does not end here.

Then just when you are filled with this complete peace and knowledge of what the waterfall means and how great the refreshment and fullness of a gift and blessing it is suddenly it stops flowing and you do not see the man. You are alone in the wilderness. "How can this be" you think? "How can the flow of grace streaming from above cease to cover me?" Was this just a dream and did I really with complete certainty experience this life changing refreshment and have I really been changed from it? How can the man that lead me here suddenly be gone without my seeing it at all. How can that be good? What is good again? You are forced to walk home only you can't find the way, you think it's this way, then that way and then you simply walk in circles.  You don't understand why such goodness could not last, why on earth could you experience complete and full feeling and now everything is simply grey.

Slowly or rather fast  depending on your perception of the time the memory of water makes you angry. Finally, you walk back to the place that you were when you first heard the rush of water faintly in the distance and sit. You sit in your anger and you let it rise within you, as if the waterfall owed you it's constant flow; you remember it so clearly but somehow it's lost its refreshment for your soul. You can't cling to what you don't know and you already sacrificed so much to find it - because when you left in search for the sound you left behind a mess and the memory comes back of what once was so important and built anxiety in your heart.

We all have to survive through the winter and thus you place the waterfall in the back of your mind as you bitterly go about your days of labor without even a sip from the spring. You cant even take a small break for the fear that you won't make it and since the water isn't anywhere to be found you build a big wall around your heart ever hearing of that following sound again. You loath even having to take a sip of tepid water in the fields as you remember flowing water from above and you glance at the birds in the air as they freely dance and eat and drink without a worry. You think, why can't it be that simple? Doesn't he care for me? ((YES, CHILD!)) The brink of desperation sets in and the crop is failing- winter will be longer than you can provide for and suddenly your crying out for ANYTHING. You think the man who lead you to the waterfall has abandoned you and even in your time of need he won't come so why bother to ask him for help, so you don't. A little ounce of you wishes he would come to save you even without asking just to prove you wrong but mostly because you need to live and eat and function.

Then you hear again the faint trickle of water and your heart skips a beat- you don't quite know what to do. Leaving now and running to the water would only put you farther behind in your important  work to stay alive and for what? For the water to dry up and care little to continue flowing for your livelihood. You are distraught as you remember the wonderful refreshment that is the crystal clear waters jumping off the cliff as if it was their soul joy in life to do so. That thought now pains your heart and you aren't able to hear the sound any longer. Just as you want you push out the sound and dig deeper your own grave.

The man comes to your house so that you might be lead back to this place, but in your stubbornness  when you see him coming and he kindly greets you with a wave: you turn and run to close the door and lock it. The man gently knocks, you claim that you are far too busy to go on some hike to see a waterfall and even if you were not busy you certainly where not going with him after all he has done to not make you prosper and "left you alone."The man knocks again on the door and slowly says "I never left you nor have I forsaken you, and I never will." You toss the words about in your head and they begin to soothe your soul but the calluses on your heart need more wearing down in order to open the door. He reminds you "while you were away and anxious, I was preparing a place for you." You still don't believe him but wish you could then he begins again. "I have knit you together in your mothers womb I know your innermost being." "Maybe that is why he is being so patient with me" you think but still something pings in your mind to stay and work not to follow this man. You are caught between your burdens and your desires.  You remind yourself where your desires lead you last time... up the river and with a long hike back home to the tasks you have neglected.

Then you hear a faint whisper though the door "come follow me" you feel like yelling now because you are so conflicted but you stomp your foot and clench your fists instead. You don't want to let go of the wrong that has been done to you by submitting to that voice again. After all when you got back from that lovely journey you weren't able to plant anything in the field because it was past the season for planting, so you were behind all your neighbors. You finally planted everything but had to battle to remember that rainy season was over so you hoped it would rain but it never came- you were simply late. Your crops shriveled and died around the time everyone was harvesting. You have no way of providing for your family. You are mad,  and say to the man at the door "If only I hadn't gotten so distracted, I would be fine... I wouldn't have to scramble." That's when the man at the door says, " no matter your effort, this crop was going to fail ... but it's not because I am not good, follow me and see." At this point you are so exhausted from fighting and hurting and you are realizing that you simply won't be able to make it past this winter either way so you step toward the door. Once step, then two and you stop.

You stop and instantly remember that surge of grace falling on you in the waterfall of his hands. How? Because he is good after all you suppose even with hurt in your heart you somehow can feel his goodness.

You take another step and open the door. He isn't mad because he had to wait for so long, or because you were defiant in following him...he knows the flood of grace covers that too. He simply invites you to follow him and so in the quiet of your heart you say "yes" even though so much of your brain and flesh says "no." He starts you off at a slow pace just like before, then a faster walk, then just as you thought you were there you take an unexpected turn. You look at him inquisitively. He simply continues you down that path farther and farther away from the waterfall. He places you under a cider tree and calls you to rest in his hands.  You don't question him as you are very tired from the journey so you fall into a slumber in mere seconds. While you were sleeping the man leaves. You wake panicked, How can this be? He called me once, left me dry...came and called me again and now he is nowhere in sight. "I know I should have stayed" you think. Then you hear a voice, you can't fully understand from where but it simply said "follow the sound" and instantly you remember that gurgling joyful splashing from the mountain top into the pool of grace once again.

You look up with determination as you know your mission. You listen carefully and somewhere far in the distance you hear the sound again. It very well could have been there the whole time but you were so set on not hearing you simply couldn't make it out. You rise to your feet and start walking. The closer you get your pace quickens. Your face turns from mournful to joyful, you simply cant help but smile nearly laughing. You run full speed when you see the man again, standing at waters edge. He greets you with open arms and lifts the water to your parched lips. You nearly knock him down with excitement and he isn't ashamed of your near undignified praise at his feet. You thank him for his small voice that lead you to him. He says "well done good and faithful servant." You ponder that statement and recall how little faith and goodness you were being, but then you suddenly are enveloped by the waterfall again and remember the glory of which they speak of him. You remember he pour of Grace... this is why he calls me good and faithful, because of his grace. You are even more joyous than before and you didn't think that was possible. In the mist of the water pouring over you in perfect Grace you turn to the man, fix your eyes on his face and ask " when will this run dry, and what am I to do with my fields and for the winter."

He catches your words like the pools catch the graceful fall of water from the tops of the mountain and he tells you "Child, I simply moved the flowing water for what is best for you, for the greater joy of your soul. I needed for your fields to fail so that you would follow me and move to where the waters surge again. If ever the water is to cease falling the waterfall is awaiting you in a new place, but trust me it never runs dry." You look to him confused. You ask, "How could you let me walk away from the waterfall before?"  He replies, " Dear child I was there pointing you in the direction but you looked up with such anger at the water's end you simply could not see me. I came to lead you back, so that you may receive what is abundant life but you must understand my ways are not your ways." You slowly are awakened to the reality of the Kingdom of God and the treasures being stored up in heaven. With every move to a new waterfall of grace, no matter how difficult, even if it costs much it's worth the eternal treasure. The blessings flow and the grace of the splashing waters surround so you are covered. You are lead by the movement of the water and if it says stay or go. You obey because you know the maker of the eternal well and are reminded:

"The LORD will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones. You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose waters never run dry."

This was inspired by a small line from a sermon by John Piper from 2002 the line reads " I tell people to stand under the waterfall of grace, and if it moves you follow it."

Flaking Skin (Sin)

As I am sitting on my hard tile floor, I pick off the dead- sunburnt skin from my shoulder. I look on the ground and become increasingly disgusted by the sight of my brown sun drenched thirsty skin just sitting on my floor. I go get the broom and sweep it up for what seams like the 100th time this week.

This isn't my first sunburn. Growing up in Florida I'm pretty accustom to the fact that the sun's rays can do some serious damage and yet somehow I applied my sunscreen a little less than liberally on my last trip to the beach. I look at my speckled skin in the mirror, some fresh new pinkish white skin and other blotches of flaky dead and dying skin. It's amazing what our bodies were created to do. I was curious the amount of skin our bodies shed on their own with no sun exposure so I did some really legit research and google'd it. The results were pretty amazing- in just a single day our skin sheds about 14 million particles of skin so in just a year that makes about 1.5 pounds of skin. Yea, it's kinda gross but think about it for a second, we are constantly becoming new. Every Skin particle that falls from our bodies is replaced with new fresh skin underneath, it's incredible!!

I was thinking about how even simple functions of our bodies are are made for call us to look to the Lord with wonder and amazement. There is something deeper here. Even simply breathing is a miracle in itself- maybe it's because I'm not a medical person and don't understand all the inter-workings of our bodies but I think there is a greater reason for the unknown- for the mystery of life to send us in pursuit of the creator of life.

I was reading Romans 8 today and a this verse stood out "For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin. He condemned sin in the flesh in order that the rigthetious requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." (Romans 8:3-4) 

Now remember my flaking skin? That burn that was so bad, the relief as it turns out, is loss of flesh. Isn't it so with sinfulness. The result of a big sin (or little for that matter), a heart that has deceived, a mind that has wandered, a flesh in pursuit of our own demise is always a loss. We must lose the flesh in order to gain newness. I don't think this verse will ever get old to me 2 cor 5:17 "Therefore If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has passed away, behold, the new has come"  because I need that new layer of skin each day. The layer of skin flaking off all my sinfulness so that I can walk according to the spirit. The reminder is simple, we must remember to look at our flesh to see the burn we are causing when we don't walk by the spirit as we should. Even when the skin hurts- like after a sunburn repentance is so much sweeter and we gain a new layer of skin to protect us. 

One called Grace. 

We all need this layer to not only continually protect us but also to point us back to something we cannot do for ourselves- cover our dying flesh in grace. We don't deserve new skin when we have been walking for so long in our flesh, refusing to flake off the pieces so dear to us. Idols can be clung to our skin like glue and we are deceived when we think that if we flake that little piece of skin (sin) off we will never have a covering there (better protect ourselves with death) so we hide our dying flesh away as it rots and we begin to smell.

Romans 8 also says "to set the mind on flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is LIFE AND PEACE."

Our flesh says- "look at me!! Even though my layers are weak and flimsy (I will pretend to be strong) I'm still more attractive than newness." Or even our self-denial saying "I still don't think it's time for us to part, I am still a part of you, you cannot escape me." Colossians puts it rather bluntly "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."  We must remember that the very flesh we are living in must be put to death in order to find newness of life. Take those scales of sinfulness and flake them off one by one in order to receive a newness of life, to walk in the Spirit covered by Grace.

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." 2 Cor 7:10 also makes it plain that our burnt dying skin will only bring us what a dying thing can- death. 

The good news is we have an option and repentance is that option- we can be lead to salvation and the newness of our flesh in a Godly sorrow of the sinfulness. We must remember that repentance is a sweet thing, it's from the Lord, Leads to life, ends in Joy, looks to Jesus, is a blessing and Leads to new identity in Christ.  I say this and urge you to remember the very first chapter of Romans 8  "If you are in Christ there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus." Conviction and Condemnation are two very different things. Condemnation is from Satan, leads to despair and ends in sorrow, no wonder the liar wants to convince you that conviction brings you these things, but that is simply not true.

The funny thing about this sunburn also is that because I don't have a full length mirror I have no idea where I am pealing. In the places I can see  such as my arms, those places are rather easy to tear away the old skin and reveal the new, but I cannot see my back... I have no vision there. I need another person to point out, even help me flake off the useless dead skin in order to reveal the newness aching to come to the surface. It's the very same thing with our sin. I think many of us are too scared or grossed out by their own flesh to ask for help because if we can't see it, maybe it doesn't need to be bothered with...right?

The reality is the less we see the more we have need for vision, we need all the help we can get when it comes to the areas of sin we cannot see. That's when a sister points out your pride and you look at them like, NO I AM NOT BURNT THERE (ha, ha). Or when we Point to another persons pealing skin but miss altogether the flesh rotting on our own backs because we refuse to see. Don't let a lack of vision keep you from shedding that weight. Jesus wants to take it... all the dead,scaly and gross flesh. He wants it all, not just what we can see and that's why we need a community of sunburnt people to call out in a loving way where dying flesh needs to be removed so new flesh can take place. New flesh covered in Grace and filled with the Spirit!! Come Join me, sit in the sun and remember how we can protect ourselves from our own flesh by looking to the newness offered in Christ Jesus.

"Behold I am making all things new. Write this down for these words are trustworthy and true!" Rev. 21:5

One year

One year ago today 4/2/2012

365 days.

Has it really been a year?

This day last year I felt a HUGE urgency to fast and pray for God’s will.

He made himself clear. So clear, he wanted my heart to become broken for Haiti. He began that day one year ago and his faithfulness amazes me. He is amazing! He keeps pushing my heart in the direction of his will for my life! Praise God!

The following is from my journal on this day last year:

“Lord, I need scripture about your provision, plan, and will. Also, scripture about your desire for me to serve the least of these, as well as scripture about your truth and sharing that truth and how you will protect me doing that if you so will. I trust you!”

Then he revealed to me these scriptures that I hold close to my heart;

Isaiah 6:8                         Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Psalm 121:1-4                 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

                                     where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

 

Isaiah 50:4-5                    The Sovereign LORD has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know what to say to all these weary ones. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will. The Sovereign LORD has spoken to me, and I have listened. I do not rebel or turn away.

Isaiah 54:10                      He said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, and you will bring me glory."  I replied, "But my work all seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose at all. Yet I leave it all in the LORD's hand; I will trust God for my reward."

The praise of prayer followed by tears of joy one year ago;

            “Oh Lord, you heard my prayer and showed me with your word a great reassurance, security, you’re will, faithfulness, guidance, and your hand that was in all that is my heart for Haiti. I pray that I continue to take these concerns to you and seek for truth in your word so that I can hear you clearly and be guided by your will not my own. Thank you Lord for your great plan for my life and showing me that you alone are good and you alone are God. Praise be to your name!”

            I write this to show how good and faithful our God is. A year ago he stirred in my heart what was to be my future, and I trusted him, even though it was not easy. Before I encountered God that day I remember writing down all my fears on a piece of paper, in black marker. Bold and ugly. Fear is UGLY. Then as he faithfully showed me his truth through the word and I began ripping that paper (all my fears) up! Fear no longer had any power, because I recognized his immense love! 2 Timothy 1:7 states “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” I saw it clearly, his love that washed away all my fears and that lead me in self-control to see his will above my own.

            I’m humbled today to be sitting in that same great, vast, extraordinary love of the Lord that is stirring my heart to return again to Haiti now with a deeper understanding of his will. I need your help though, I must raise 3,500 in a very short time, but I trust that God’s timing is perfect. Would you prayerfully consider supporting sending me back to Haiti to therefore see the Lords will be done? I appreciate all your prayers as I am being constantly prepared by the Lord, and trusting that He will provide for my needs in the way he wills. If you feel the holy spirit leading you to trust God’s movement about what I will be doing in Haiti come august read more about it here:HERE!! :) I am overjoyed to be sitting in this day a year later reflecting on God’s goodness. I pray you are lead to do the same though reading this post. Glory be to God!