Magnified Gratitude

Have you ever walked into an experience totally oblivious to how God might reveal something to you? It happens to me pretty frequently, mostly because I am too focused on my own thoughts in order to see what God is prompting. He softly says, “Look child I have a sight for you, not seen by your eyes but your heart.” (2 Cor 5:7) I wiped tears in the small cemented room God so sovereignty placed me in for less than 5 minutes yesterday.

I had heard God’s stirring in my heart to start a Respire Haiti Photo blog I began praying about who God wanted me to photograph first, he continued to place Fifi- our incredible housekeeper on my heart. I had watched how she praises the lord for all things big and small. As I talked over photographing Fifi with Megan she expanded on her sweet thankful spirit explaining that every pay-day when she receives her money she immediately raises her hands and repeats “merci jezi” (Thank you Jesus) over and over. So many instances I have found Fifi praising the Lord, doing laundry, dishes, cleaning I wouldn't even be surprised if she was worshiping our God even when she was in the bathroom. Oh how her spirit radiates pure thanksgiving to our Lord.

For nearly a week I had told Fifi I wanted to come home with her to photograph her there, she would joyfully respond “pa gen pwoblem”. I finally got my opportunity yesterday around 5:30 it had just finished raining and I saw she was carrying quite a load so I helped carry some of her items home.

As I scan though the photos I took, one stood out. She had just opened her door – freshly painted light blue and the joy on her face just radiates. As she walked into the house she did something I was familiar with her doing- lifting her hands in praise and thanking the Lord. I had walked home with Fifi once last summer to help her carry some things and I remembered how the Lord made me take a breath after I realized what she was doing. She was praising the Lord for her four walls, no matter their condition just pure praise. Sure by our standards it may look like she didn't have anything to praise over because she had no electricity, no running water (she took her daily supply from our house) a small bed that felt more like wood two by fours stacked together, yet she was thankful. My heart took a step back that moment last year and again in that moment yesterday to catch my breath for such beautiful thankfulness.

She offered me the only chair she had in her home to sit on as per cultural norm I sat and thanked her. Suddenly I realized I wasn't actually here to photograph her, God had something bigger for my heart to learn.  I snapped a few photos but wasn't actually concentrated because I was overwhelmed by how much my heart was seeing. Fifi was settling a few things on her bedside table as the tears welled up into my eyes, I had been so concentrated for the last month on all that I did not have (comforts of home, simple foods like cheese, the ability to just call a friend) that I didn't see the tremendous blessings he had before me. I was missing it altogether and in that moment in her house I realized my foolishness and was so thankful for God’s grace. I wiped my tears fast out of fear that she may see my tears and due to the language barrier didn't want her to think I was crying over her circumstance. She had abundantly more than enough maybe not by the world’s standards but certainly in Christ. She then informed me that she was going to a prayer meeting at the church and invited me. I respectably declined as I need to get home because it was getting late.

 My heart was so filled upon leaving her home that I took my sweet time walking home reflecting on the gracious heart that I had just encountered and prayed my heart would in turn become transformed by Christ in the manner God molded Fifi’s.  The sun was setting and I was thankful for the stillness of the town after a rain, for the cool breeze regardless the temperature, for the simple sweet glances from children as I passed, for the meal I was arriving home to. In that moment my heart was beginning to shed the thoughts of my flesh and taking new shape in gratitude and thanksgiving for all things that lie before me, I just needed to take the time to see with my heart as the Lord prompted into eternity.Magnified gratitude. Magnified thanksgiving. Magnified Christ in all circumstances. He holds all things together; I remember and breathe in a new understanding of peace.

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