Tears of Faith

This week has been one of the most emotional weeks of my life, yet in the most beautiful and incredible ways possible.

There are many things to look forward to at this point in my life.

·         Graduation is in 15 days!

·         Haiti is in a little over 3 months from now!!

 

The lord has totally filled me with a reflective spirit this week. Not one day has my eyes not been wet with the sweet tears of joy and thankfulness. Let’s just begin with only 5 short days ago.

• Monday I was lead to fast and pray for Haiti as I had been very busy and he called me to focus on him, and just as I felt most confident in his spirit and rested in his will and plan HE PROVIDES in a huge way. I got in my car and found out about two very incredible donations and my spirit was just dancing! Here I was sitting in traffic on US 41 Bawling over the Lord’s favor, faithfulness, and will! He knows every need and fills them, he is faithful to provide!
 
• Tuesday I was somewhat ready for the waterworks as I prepared myself to go to the last Ignite I will ever attend as an undergraduate. Not only did I have to say goodbye to many brothers and sisters but I got to worship the savior for his work. What a way to exit, praising the Lord for not only his faithfulness this semester but also the last four years. His fruit was evident and abounding that night as 4 of my dear friends got baptized and I got to see how the Lord’s favor over all obedience is beyond what we could imagine. HE IS FAITHFUL. HE IS GOOD. He stood there with me the first day I entered that church and he lead me out on the last petitioning that it’s only by his grace that I could become the person he has made me to be today.
 
• Wednesday I had the most intense exam of my college career that was three solid hours long that consisted of eight sheets of blank paper. Go. I came home exhausted and I open a letter with a check in the mail from family friends and wept again for the faithfulness of the Lord! In my most weak moments he fills me. Refreshes me, and reminds me of his fullness.
 
• Thursday I sat around a circular table hearing of burden after burden from some of the most beloved women I know and continually lifting them up to the Lord. Our only response that day was prayer. It was only appropriate for the prayers of my Bible study leader to flood over me as I responded to the Lord’s faithfulness and accepted her gift of support as well. As I drove away I again wept, overwhelmed by the reflection of this week and how the fruit of obedience is sweeter than any could ever describe. He is good to his children, especially in obedience! This reminds me of Isaiah 1:19 “If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land”

• Friday (Today) I had to say goodbye to a dear friend of mine who I have been able to be blessed by walking along side, lifting her burdens to the Lord and mentoring her through her freshman year here at FGCU. I couldn’t contain my tears as we had to continually say “see you later” to avoid the dreaded “goodbye.” When we had to leave each other I read the sweet words she wrote in a simple card about how Christ in my life influenced hers and it made my spirit become filled with joy. FLOODS OF TEARS! A mixture of emotion from support, prayer, and thanksgiving for the growth the Lord has done in her life as well through only the Grace of God and willing obedience to pour into her. I did nothing, nothing, nothing all I did was obey and the Lord did the rest. He worked. He was faithful. He was the leader I was his child following his command even there!

I AM A MESS, but aren’t we all really? If we claim we aren’t messes in this world we have something wrong.

I couldn’t possibly have been that faithful. ONLY He is.

I also could have never influenced anyone’s life for the Lord without his leadership. Only He leads.

I certainly cannot raise even a dime of support without the convictions the Lord places and stirs in hearts to obediently give to the mission of the Lord. Only He stirs.

All I had to do was obey.

That’s it.

A simple, YES LORD! Your will not my own.

Yes Lord!

 

Yet sometimes that response is not the easiest, he has the most blessing for it!

Praise God for reflecting on my life the past four years and not seeing what I have done, but rather seen the Lord’s work. How I was hidden in his plan, how he molded me to his will and plan and desired for me to know of his fruit in the end. Reflecting this week has brought me to tears not because I am sad about any of it, but because it truly is only by his grace that I could be a part of any of his plan.

He lead me, he convicted me, he guided me, he reassured me, he held me, he calmed me, he filled me with peace, he celebrated when I celebrated and mourned when I mourned.

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free” Luke 4:18

What better word to sit in this week than this? What better victory than that of Jesus Christ. For his death to bring me life and his resurrection to give me hope.

I encourage you to reflect on ways the Lord has shown you his glory and fruits of your labor for the Lord, and if there is none at this point- seek him and ask in what ways he desires for you to be obedient. He fills us in ways we can’t even comprehend when we are obedient! In no ways am I implying I have always been obedient, I have also fallen in many ways. HIS GRACE COVERS EVEN THAT. Whatever that is for you, ask for his forgiveness and move forward in obeying his command. He desires to share with you the fruit of his work and display his Glory!

 

Thanks for reading!

-Amanda